


Do Snakes Have Ears?

by geekoncaffeine



Category: Good Omens (TV)
Genre: Crowley's Flat, Crowley's Plants (Good Omens), Dirty Talk, M/M, Mistaken Identity, Snakes, Zoo, date, public dirty talk, snake - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-07
Updated: 2019-07-07
Packaged: 2020-06-24 06:40:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 666
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19718269
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/geekoncaffeine/pseuds/geekoncaffeine
Summary: Aziraphale looked at his pocket watch for the fourth time in as many minutes. Where was he? It wasn’t like him to be late for one of their planned dates. He was starting to worry when he spotted him. Well, sort of. “Crowley, what in heaven are you playing at?” He scolded.





	Do Snakes Have Ears?

**Author's Note:**

> My thanks to [ Irrevocably_Sherlocked](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Irrevocably_Sherlocked/pseuds/Irrevocably_Sherlocked) for the beta on this one. <3
> 
> Another entry in the 666 Fic Fic Fic prop. This weeks word was SNAKE. Come back next week to see what we're up to!

Aziraphale looked at his pocket watch for the fourth time in as many minutes. Where was _he_? It wasn’t like him to be late for one of their planned dates. He was starting to worry when he spotted him. Well, sort of. “Crowley, what in heaven are you playing at?” He scolded.

A rather large snake was slithering around, and this one most certainly didn’t look like it belonged there. But the golden eyes and red markings gave him away immediately. The snake slithered up as close as it could get to Aziraphale as he watched, and raised itself up a bit. As if it understood him.

Instead, Aziraphale looked around as if he had a most delightful idea. After all, he did owe the demon for the public lewdness in the Bentley last week. Thank goodness no one had seen them! But as Crowley had said not long ago, he was just enough of a bastard to be worth knowing. Well, time to prove it.

“I say, my dear. Do you know what I would do to you if you were here. Well, I mean you are., But in your human form, that is.” Right, this was not starting well. Though Crowley hadn’t slithered off, so it seemed fine. In fact, he was rather focused on the angel. In truth, the snake was rather focused on Crowley who was hiding in the shadows out of sight.* “Right, well, first I’d remove those ridiculous sunglasses you always wear. I do so love to look at you.”

The snake hissed and stuck out its forked tongue.

“Oh good. Well, let’s see. Next, I’d simply miracle away our clothing. Then I would run my hands down your delicious body to your hips. Have I mentioned how I do love your hips? I rather do!”

The snake cocked his head to the side as if to ask what the fuck he was on about. Poor thing had no idea what the angel was saying. Crowley meanwhile was torn between laughter at the whole situation and needing to grab the angel and go _right fucking now_. But as luck would have it, one of those problems was about to solve itself.

“Pardon me sir, but _this_ is the London Zoo, not your uhh please leave.”

Later…

Cowley was still laughing as he let them into his flat. 

“Really, it wasn’t funny.”

“Angel, it was.” He dropped his sunglasses on the table and took note of Aziraphale’s face. The poor thing did look very concerned. “Don’t worry it’s not like he could understand you. Only can understand other snakes and wizards**.”

Aziraphale brightened a bit. “Oh, oh that does make me feel better. I’m still embarrassed to be kicked out of the zoo of all places!”

Crowley just rolled his eyes and sauntered into his plant room to tend to his babies. He noted Aziraphale followed. “So...what you said back there. You mean it?”

But Aziraphale was cooing at one of the lush plants and it took a moment to register the question. “Ah, of course, my dear. When do I not?”

“Never talked to me like that before is all.” He set down the spritzer bottle and backed Aziraphale into the nearest wall. “I liked it.” 

The angel brought his hand up between them. Not to push the demon away, just to busy his hands with the buttons at his waistcoat. “I’m. Well, I’m embarrassed if you must know. I thought you’d laugh.”

Crowley took one of the angel’s hand and lowered it to his trousers. Which were now quite constricted. “Definitely not going to laugh, quite the opposite.” Instead, Crowley lightly pressed his lips to Aziraphale’s lightly flicking his serpentine tongue at them causing them to part instantly. Breaking the kiss, he spoke again. “Now angel. Why don’t you show me all those thingsss you were going to do?” He walked him towards the bedroom.

*Like knows like after all  
**If you believe in that sort of thing.

**Author's Note:**

> I love comments and kudos!
> 
> You can find me on twitter at @geekoncaffeine!


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